highgreysea

current biology events

2008-10-20T16:36:00.001-07:00

Mapos;kay so all i wants to do is my math homework when kym txted me. And first it was like hi, how r u, im glad ur getting better shit. And i was like yay, weapos;re cordial. No more drama. Well guess again then she just started fighting again so ill put these down no, but this is still on going. Im just running out of space for the messages so i have to delete them soon.
kym txt: so u need to explain to me how i was disrespectful the other day cuz i dont see it
i txt: my dad had a buisness dinner appointmennt that night which he ended up being late for cuz we were all waiting around 4 u
kym txt: wut lol how is it that u were waiting for me. I came to get my purse and give u ur stuff i called and told u i was coming and u didnt say hurry tho
kym txt: my dads waiting i didnt even kno ur dad was coming til u told me as i was walking up to your door so not my fault he was late and how is that dissrespectful
i never responded to this one, but she knew cuz i was telling her that morning about how my parents were coming down that night (later just my dad) and how i couldnt wait to see them. I decided to txt keith for advice. I was like should i continue this or just stay silent? he told me to talk it out so i dont seem immature. Well b4 i got 2 respond to above txt she sent:
kym txt: nothing to say?
i txt: im just done with this. Nothing i say matters cuz ur always rite and im always wrong. So its futile 2 try 2 reason with u
kym txt:fine then i will keep talking then how bout when u told me to get off the right bus and get on the wrong one. U kno how i joke apos;were in the getto
i txt: that was cuz i had 2 keep hanging up on my dad cuz u kept calling 4 directions so i was prolly like ya sure when u asked
kym txt: wut the geto is it was fucking scary and i get it we r both learing the city and we r going to screw up but then u laugh at me and then hang up on me. So let me let u kno wut was happening when u did. 4 black guys were staring at me and licking their lips i was in tears when i realized u hung up on me and then when i put the phone down they came towards me and i called eric but they sat next to me and keeped licking their lips so i was really mad at u

(b/t this i sent the txt saying how again, i called her 3 times but she didnt pick up and i thought of calling the cops but its not like i could really tell them ne thing. My friend is somewhere in a bad area and shes scared. Can u please take a break from ur robberies and murders to go help her out? um not likely)
kym txt: but i said fuck it cuz i have always know keith is the most important person and ur life and then u where rude to me for as i thought no reason and the later i never got a call after telling u i was in the hospital and im ur fucking nabor abi go across the st or leave a vm. Or txt come on i didnt hear from u
i txt: i fucking called u now im done with shit
kym txt: not til late mon so all this proves u really dont give a shit and i asked u to come over and u left that hurt if u where gonna call the cops u would have
kym txt: if u were so worried y didnt u leave a vm or txt me?
i txt: no i called u sunday after i got ur voicemail and then u aked me 2 see ur fake so i gured the hospital was just u making a big deal out of nohting as usual. And i was going out 2 eat w/ my faimly. Stop expecting me 2 obey u and wat was i supposed 2 tell the cops? i had a freind somewhere in a bad area but idk where and that shes scaed so plz ignore all the crime going on in the city 2 find her
kym txt: wut about a fake and no it was a big deal

turns out that she had an abscess in one of her teeth. Basically its a lil ball of puss and it prolly is painful. All they do is drain the puss and put u on antibiotics for it. Again not a real biggy. U just have to wit out the infection, ull be fine afterwards. She just uses the word apos;emergencyapos; so often. In my family theres been 5 instances that called for the word emergency (besides all the time michael has saved us from chocking haha) and that was when leah got the pmonea twice, james got bitten by the snake, dad got appendicitis and his appendix was about to burst (which kills u), and when mom got the infection in her colon that resulted her being hospitalized for a week and then all the surgeries.
im srry for all this and this again really long. This is still on going but im just done. Does all this drama annoy u guys? im sry if it does. Obviously its not normally like this but i have to go and get my math homework done now
i love u guys
abi

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corona pole position

2008-10-19T15:25:00.001-07:00

Okay, leaf stuck last night, mostly. The back looks fine, the ribs are not great because they were wetter, but I can live with that. Painting can begin, and breathing, too. We may just finish this thing some day.

Fred put it on our stoop, in the small space between the front door and the little lockable gate at the top of the stairs, where it can get some sun to accelerate the drying process. More secure than just leaving it in the park, but I still have a premonition that Iapos;m going to poke my head outside to find it being used as a tennis racket.

Yesterday was fun. I took two first-year photography grad students to the Glass Fields--a place along the bosque of the Rio Grande where the city used to dump its glass and ceramics in the (weapos;ve surmised) 50apos;s and 60apos;s. Youapos;re walking along on one of the many swampy, cottonwoodsy paths down there, and you walk up an atypical rise, and there they are: acres of sparkly, shimmering, deadly, multicolored beauty. There are weird hills and valleys of the stuff, there are unbroken bottles that have been warped into weird shapes by some unknown heat source, and fragments of everything from cobalt glass to royal crown bottles to fragments of delicately-painted floral china to ceramic dollsapos; legs to the occasional highly-patinated bullet casing. Even the ant hills are beautiful: the little guys have hauled up uniformly-sized fragments of every color of bottle, bowl, or plate imaginable, and created that perfect circle that only ants can create two feet around the entrance. The whole experience is a lot like being on another planet, or at the bottom of the ocean, or six thousand years in the future. Spectrally beautiful, but disturbing.

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2008-10-19T00:50:00.001-07:00

Why is it that so many vampire movies start with the sound effect of a wolf howl? I noticed them at the beginning of both The Fearless Vampire Killers and Fright Night and there was one in the film I watched this morning, the Hong Kong action/horror/comedy Mr. Vampire (which I got from Jeff a long, long time ago, but have just now gotten around to watching). Co-written and directed by Ricky Lau, the film was made in 1985 and was followed by three sequels over the next three years (which I suppose makes it the Saw series of its day). What sets this filmapos;s vampires apart is the way they hop around, which may sound silly, but itapos;s no less threatening when thereapos;s eight of them coming after you. And as if vampires and walking corpses arenapos;t enough, this film also throws a beautiful ghost into the mix and a guy in an ape suit. Chock full of well-choreographed fight scenes and genuinely funny comic interludes, Mr. Vampireapos;s 96-minute running time all but zips by. Highly recommended for genre fans looking for something a little different.

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car showrooms glasgow

2008-10-18T05:45:00.001-07:00

Tampa Rays: Weapos;re up, seven zero
Red Sox Fans: Weapos;re going to bed.
Red Sox: How do you like us now? Seven six, baby
Me: Turns on game. Okay, but hurry, I want to watch a show.
Red Sox: Got one more Tied
Tampa Rays: Got nothing in the ninth.
Me: I want to watch Supernatural
Youk: Iapos;m on base
Tampa Rays: Weapos;re walking Bay. Take it, bitch.
Me: Supernatural Want
JD Drew: Who loves ya, baby?
Me: You love me, JD Drew You love me Supernatural time

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darkside feeling fine rg semisonic strangely

2008-10-18T02:35:00.001-07:00

Salut les cool
si yen a qui veulent faire un pact de suicide, jsuis pr�te � le faire�MES�PROFS�SONT�EN�GR�VES�du lundi au mercredi mais voila... Ce qui laisse seulement mon prof de stat qui faite la grave mercredi donc jai pas de cours et lundi capos;�tait d�j� annul�..... Vous vous direz WOWW c g�nial mais non malheureusement.... Voyez vous les amis.... Jai des examen le samedi dimanche suivant et la mati�re a examen on va voyait mercredi. Voil� mon probl�me.... Je ne comprendrai rien a lexamen parce que c�TROP�PAS�CLAIR�dans les livres Japos;ai le gout de pleurer parce que je doit en plus de r�viser 2 examen intense ( pis jen fait 2 en fds) je doit comprendre un cours de 3 heure SEULEe qui pour moi est �gal � du chinois
Voil�.... Vive le d�crochage ahha�
jai bin h�te de voir si je vais r�ussir ma vie :P

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applebees iced tea

2008-10-18T02:15:00.001-07:00

Making decision is always a difficult thing to do.�simple things like choosing a foolscap�pad for $2.05 or 3 a packet for $4.10 can take me about 15 minutes. -.- tai hen desu�ne�
hmm. For months, iapos;ve�been standing on the fence. Itapos;s unexplanable�whatapos;s going�through in my mind.�Perhaps itapos;s better to keep the status quo right now. As time goes by, itapos;ll just be the way it is. Iapos;m pretty ok with it�i guess. Sometimes itapos;s ok; sometimes itapos;s not.�rubbish. What iapos;m afraid of is..iapos;m too used to the way things are now..and then iapos;ll fall when the balance is�gone, only to realise itapos;s too late. Then again, i dunno what i want.�dont know = dont want? �

itapos;s ok if�you donapos;t understand. ((:��

anyway. I ate subway melt on thursday happiness ((:

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cardiology nuclear society

2008-10-17T11:50:00.001-07:00

So another update from me :) I am actually proud of myself this week. No major overeating at all. I also did great last weekend. Normally, I gain about 3 pounds every weekend, then lose it during the week and gain it back on the weekends. Which obviously does not help my weight loss any at all since it is a constant loop. However, last weekend was different. I didnapos;t gain weight and was actually down a pound on Monday I even went to a festival with tons of food and ate some unhealthy food, but was able to control myself better than I have in the past. I ate some junk food (red velvet cupcakes, yum), but didnapos;t pig out and eat a bunch. So I am proud of myself for that. Letapos;s hope this weekend also goes well. I have a trip to Miami coming up soon for my graduate program and usually they feed us such wonderful food and provide us with wonderful wine, I am certain to gain a lot. I figure this is a once in a lifetime chance to get all this wonderful food for free in Miami, I shouldnapos;t be too hard on myself. I just have to be reasonable too.

And now I have a question. Whenever I am studying or doing homework, I get the urges to binge more. I used to buy grapes and would allow myself to just keep eating those since they arenapos;t too bad for me and they satisfied me. But now grapes arenapos;t in season and I find myself munching on things which arenapos;t so healthy. I have tried other fruits, nothing satisfies me though. Any tips on how to not go overboard when studying? Any foods that work for you? Does anyone else have this type of a problem?

Thanks for your support everyone

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carpul tunnel

2008-10-17T09:05:00.001-07:00

Well�class this morning waas a little tough to get through, but i made it we got introduced to minimodes and we are going to evaluate All Souls. Luckily, I read the whole book unlike half the class :P I actually enjoyed the book but it was not my favorite book I have ever read. The book did make me cryy after all those people die. I could actually feel for Michael, it was awful. I do appreciate some things after reading that book though.

Since I have been home all day, I got to watch movies I watched Elf, yes I know it isnapos;t christmas time yet, but I love Elf. When I crave Elf I will watch it no matter what time of the year it is. Then I started 27 dresses and my bestfriend from Nebraska called and told me to come watch Aladin and have lunch. So we ordered Tin�Star and watched Aladin. Then I came home and� finished 27 dresses and worked on my Health Science Three write up for the past two and half week rounds :]

My mommy then came home at about 230 and we watched part of Return to Me then she wanted to watch Elf, so I watched it again. But I took a nap during this time I am feeling a lot better but I still have a minor headache and sore throat. I am going to school tomorrow because I cant miss AP�STAT, but I read about the "flu" and with symptoms your still contagious I�really hope I donapos;t give the flu to anyone :/ I been very careful thoughh

And now I am watching DR.G on discovery health channel, waiting for Greys Anatomy and ER to come on tonight ahh

Have A Good Night
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bowmans welcome

2008-10-17T00:50:00.001-07:00

My heart shattered... Into billion pieces today...
im feeling ultra saddness...
im feeling ultra down...
im feeling ultra moodiness...
i suck...
ii dno whatapos;s going on..
ii felt so sad im feeling terrible now...
im all numb..
all ii know is, iim heartbroken...

"but some stuff just unfair which is bothering quite some times"

a sentence can break my heart into billions or even zillions of pieces..
ii dint know im being unfair to u....
seriously, ii tot ii was so lucky to have u.. u are happy for what we are today......
never did ii expect myself to be so unfair to u.....
is this the reason why we are together??
do u love me at all?
a little bit?
or..?

unfair... Are we playing a game?
is there a rule to follow?
why is it an unfair game..? whyyyyyyyyy..........
game = us? us = game? unfair to u?
iim selfishhhh.. Ii knw........

ii knw... Ii knw im nothing but shit.. Ii knw no1 loves me at all..... Im feeling sad............... Disappointed in myself..........

canapos;t ii have someone to love me wholeheartedly w/o any requirements? ruleS? im a failure in which no1 loves me at all....

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driver otr salary truck

2008-10-16T16:05:00.001-07:00

Well How depressed have I been lately? Really, I can be honest here canapos;t I? Well I have been feeling like I wanted to die. But Not to the point where I would sit there and commit suicide or slash at my wrists like I used to do. Personally I think people should shut the hell up. Leave me be. Iapos;m trying hard to get my son back, and thatapos;s all I want I do not CARE if you are coming attracted to him He is MINE Go get your tubes undone, and have your own kids. I want him back And I know thatapos;s for sure.
By the way, Friends? Should I even call you friends anymore? Iapos;m not going to leave my son behind, as you could see I am doing the best I can. Getting my life back on track, and same with the "boyfriend". Thereapos;s nothing wrong with that. We never hit rock bottom yet, well, during on working on getting him back. Yes Lately, has been emotional. But You guys really need to shut up, and let people do things on their own terms. People wonapos;t just jump up and do stuff that you want them to do
RP Buddy Iapos;m truly sorry about me leaving in the middle of RPing. Iapos;m constantly beginning on becoming busy, and I do apologize Iapos;ve been busy with my son, getting things sorted out for certain programs that I have to get into, and I am hanging out with friends a lot more often when I could get a chance, and not only that, but babysitting my aunts kids, whenever she asks me She owes my 60 dollars now. Wow Uhm. What else? Oh And then when I finally get to sleep itapos;s like 3 AM in the morning. I donapos;t know. I think I should just stop everything.
Lay in bed for a couple days.

Lately, I feel like I have been needing to write poetry. And stories, erotic stories. Lmao Well I got to get back to my english So Iapos;ll write later Bye for now *Huggs*
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cream face freeze lift

2008-10-15T22:15:00.001-07:00

I waS� going to go to work today anyway...Phelann is sick too...so no dice.� Stupid men with jackhammers will be working outisde today so no rest even though we really need it.�
�� My oldest baby is turning 10 on monday.� I remember that turning ten for me was a big deal.� I somehow knew that I wasnapos;t a little kid anymore.� I new things were going to be different.�
�� Right now I�am just a little sad that my baby is growing so quickly.� I am still very depressed and dissapointed at the state of how things are financially..things arenapos;t the way they should be for Phelann.� I do know they could be worse.� I�remember that there were times the Hardings ate popcorn for breakfast and sometimes supper..I know they all huddled together at night in front of a space heater...I�know my life isnapos;t that way and hopefully my children will never know that kind of poverty.� I just feel like I am letting her down still.

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clumber spaniels

2008-10-15T03:05:00.001-07:00

I got to work on time today, and not necessarily without obstacles. I was getting a sweater out of the closet by the stairs and happened to look out the window and - woah Naked man (This being my second startling experience with naked men in the past month or so.) The guy was apparently also getting ready to leave his apartment, though I suspect he was going to be late if he had to be somewhere at eight. I donapos;t know if he saw me. He closed the blind a moment after I noticed him... And I stared for a moment at the blind, in shock, I suppose.

Go ahead and call me a pervert. You canapos;t hurt these feelings.

So there was that. I dozed a lot today, drifting dangerously between waking and slumber in my classes - and, hereapos;s a new one, while counting boiling chips for the extractions. I spilled little white boiling chips on the floor. I need to start making coffee for myself again. Erin got a new one-dollar coffee pot, so I should start getting up early again, now that I have something to look forward to. (Thatapos;s the new theory, anyways.)

Hereapos;s what I have to do at work this afternoon: wash glassware, solvent rinse stuff, wrap things in foil if they dry, uhh... And set up for column work. Washing will take less than an hour, as will solvent rinsing, which leaves me with about an hour for the column stuff. I could leave if I got done early, but I donapos;t think I will with a start like this.

As far as schoolwork goes, I have two poems to revise and two stories to read for tomorrow, a short story and a book review to write for next Wednesday, a lab report for Friday, and an exam to study for next Thursday. Iapos;m going to lose my mind. Itapos;s already begun. Time to see how much moneys I got... If I can afford my own casket.... *speculate*

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cheat hint mario sunshine super

2008-10-14T04:30:00.001-07:00

The last two nights in a row now Iapos;ve had exceptionally vivid, story-like dreams, the details of which have not yet faded. While dreams like this are not unusual for me, two in a row is somewhat of a rarety. Here they are, because I thought Iapos;d share.

Saturday night

I dreamed I worked in an office with a large desk and a file cabinet off to my left. I dressed smartly because I worked as a direct assistant to Sarah Palen, who worked directly for Barack Obama. I knew how to do my job and I had enough work to fill my days, but Palen and I did not get along particularly well. I was constantly trying to change things to become more efficient and she was constantly trying to get me fired. At one point she had hired another assistant without firing me first and shoved my desk, filing cabinet and trash can into one corner to apparently make a point, but I patiently rearranged while telling the boy waiting for training that Palen was a pure bitch to work with and he thanked me for the heads up and left to find better employment arrangements. I seemed to get along better with Obama. We would go on walks and I would advise him sometimes, or just allow him to talk about whatever. As people passed, they would greet him as "Mr President". One day we got in a large verbal fight and he did not speak to me for a while. After a bit, I went down to his office to try to make things up. I made preliminary apologies and the cleaning lady (my grandmother on my motherapos;s side) came through emptying trash. He suggested we find a more private place for such discussion, so we went on a walk through London.�I�know it was�London because he�pointed out Big Ben to me, which was hiding somewhat behind some other tall buildings. He took me to a somewhat run down white building in a quiet, private area, and inside was dark and musty. After showing me through the doorway, he suddenly slammed the door shut behind me and locked it. The rest of my dream I spent finding the way out which didnapos;t take long as there were several open windows. So being locked in didnapos;t bother me in itself, but the fact that he would do that to�me, a man I considered friend, bothered me the most.

Sunday night

I dreamed that I was the daughter of Hannah Swenson, the lead in a baker-mystery series I just read the latest novel in. I lived in a small podunk town, and murders of tall thin women with blonde hair had been taken place (the last I think is a tie-in to a vampire series I also have been reading). I lived just outside the edge of town, and there were few buildings in town, including a police station, a public office, the house where the police officer lived, the house where the dentist lived, and�a few other buildings. In my mind, I�had taken�a tour of the town, mapping out routes to safe areas in case I was one such attacked. It was�late one evening and a tall thin blonde female customer had come to our home to purchase some cookies. It was already dark, and I�told my mother that someone would have to�escort her back to the�town as it was not safe for those her type. My mother volunteered me, so I found a flashlight, and my mother gave me�a weapon that had a rounded oval handle and a hook at the end to gouge eyes out. I put that in my back pocket and led the lady out the door and headed down the road towards town. We hadnapos;t made it�far when a male and a female caught up with us and while we journeyed and talked together for a�short while I got a bad feeling about them.�Of a sudden, (based on clues I�must have gathered before becoming aware in my dream) I�knew they were the culprits, and whipping out my�large crochet-needle type hook I�confronted them with the fact.�The female was upset and explained that they smoked too much crack and ended up killing people because of it. She then turned on the male and the two of them ran off.

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diambars dinner

2008-10-13T20:41:00.001-07:00

Itapos;s been a while since Iapos;ve posted anything on here for a while, so this may be a big post, who knows? Lets see how long I can keep on typing till I get bored.
Things have been up and down for a while - a bit of up, a lot of down, but about a month ago I was really happy. I donapos;t know why, but its gone now.
Less than a month till university is finally over for another year, and I can get out of this forsaken flat and this cramped city, and do some good ol physical labour on the farm. Iapos;m sick of having to use the grey matter in my head.
As the title suggests, I have been homesick, but not for the farm in Morrinsville. That place has never really felt like home to me. It just felt so....fake. The old farm used to feel so unique and magical, but this place just feels like another beef farm in the heart of the Waikato.
I lie awake for hours most nights just thinking about the farm in Ngakuru, and wishing that it was still a place I really could call home. But now its owned by strangers, seperated into a lifestyle block and a farm, mutilated, ruined....
Iapos;ve never been good at letting things go, but this place has been especially hard to forget.
Maybe itapos;s because I was happy here, and when we left, things started to go downhill. And now Iapos;m here, rotting away, forgotten by many, unhappy, unloved.
I think the thing I miss most about the old farm was the sunsets, and how clear and fresh the air felt. I always used to love watching the setting sun blazing its orange light through the two giant pine trees, sitting on the lawn, breathing in the cool, crisp, clean air. It was truly an amazing, magical feeling, and I have only come to truly realise how much I miss it now.
In the place at Patetonga, the sun always set so early, since it was obscured by the hulking hills at the back of our place, and the air was always so thick and clammy, even in winter.
I remember exploring the farm, and even though it was only 80 acres, I always discovered something new, whether it be a new stream, animal, plant or relic from when the farm used to be part of a larger diary establishment. The new place did have its wonders, but they were uniform and easily discovered.
Right now, there is this strange driving determination inside of me thats wants to make millions, and buy back the old place one day, so that I can truly appreciate it for what it is, and how happy it made me.
Because right now, there isnapos;t much else that is making me happy.

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aac plus winamp

2008-10-13T13:07:00.001-07:00

Okay so Iapos;ve been on 60 mgs of Cymbalta for 2 1/2 years now and it hasnapos;t really done much for me in relieving my episodes of depression. I saw my pdoc last week and she wanted to double my dose to 120 mgs because Iapos;m still experiencing depression but also because Iapos;ve been having a big problem with anxiety. I was more then a little bit alarmed being that I am Bipolar and knowing that it could cause a manic reaction. I am on more then one mood stabilizer to help control that but I still thought that this seemed extreme and abrupt since she didnapos;t tell me to titrate up, just to double it over night.

To be completely honest I was hoping to get a benzo of some sort for immediate relief and not a med change where Iapos;d have to wait 3-4 weeks to notice a difference, but this was what she wanted to try. Iapos;m really freaking out about this and itapos;s a relatively new pdoc for me so Iapos;m not exactly trusting her ideas yet.

Anyone have any experience with this high of a dose of Cymbalta, or experience being on a really high dose of any anti-depressant if you are Bipolar?

Thanks guys

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